Wednesday, November 09, 2016

Stronger. More passionate. More disciplined.

The first thing I said to my husband this morning was, "I hoped to sleep until it was 2020."
Laying in our cozy and safe bed, our youngest child in her safe place right between us, we started talking about unconditional love. It just seemed right. She knows she has it from us. That will never change. I am a Christian and I believe that to truly love like Jesus is a calling in life. To do that I must love unconditionally. ALL PEOPLE.
I then walked into my preteen's room. She is a staunch advocate for LGBTQ rights. She is a role model in many respects, but especially in her ability to support someone she believes is being wronged. We talked about the way we lived yesterday. We talked about what we were going to do today. We talked about the way we live day to day, and how that is not going to change. We're going to keep loving, keep living, and keep standing up for what we know is right.
My 16 year old was last on my wake-up call list. She is quietly passionate about human rights, and in 2 years she will cast her first ballot in the midterm elections. That is a huge responsibility that she does not take lightly, and we discussed how she can be the change. Her face lit up when we talked about her role in the democratic process, she understands the sacrifices of suffragettes. She understands on a deeper level what the marginalized have had to overcome, and hurdles they still face today.
With everyone awake, I opened the cupcakes I had on hand for what I hoped would be a celebration of our first female president. Instead, I gathered the kids in the kitchen and they toasted with cupcakes. Toasted to the first female, major party candidate.
I fell asleep last night before I could process the gravity of this situation. I helped my kids work through but I still had not given myself time to feel.
I decided the best way to combat the hate that spreads like wildfire is to focus on MY LOVE. I chose my playlist accordingly and this was the first song that shuffled on. In the light of a new day, I hear the lyrics with completely different meaning. They're taken out of context and twisted to fit my mood, but isn't that what music is really all about? Listening to any song is an emotional experience.
When I listened to it yesterday or last week, it made me think of my husband. My kids. And it still does. But today it takes on an entirely different meaning. Today, it's for all of my brothers and sisters. Not only the ones my mother gave birth to, but everyone that inhabits this planet.
"I can't believe it's true..."
This needs no explanation, but I'll elaborate. I am horrified by the huge number of American people who can rationalize their vote for a racist, xenophobic, homophobic, sexist, admitted sexual predator because they want change...something different. How do I explain that to my kids?
"I get to love you...it's the best thing that I'll ever do."
The best thing that I will ever do is to love everybody. I don't care what color your skin is, who you sleep next to, where you were born or how you got to where you are. I don't care if you don't think like me, look like me, talk like me, believe like me, love like me, vote like me. I don't care, because I love you. And that is the best thing that I'll ever do. I'll love you and my kids will know I love you. I will stand up for you when you're shoved down. I will stand up to you if you're doing the shoving. And through it all, I will love you.
"It changes who I am. I am undone. I thank God once again."
I am eternally grateful to have a sensitive, compassionate heart. As much as today hurts, as much as I hurt that so many people are so full of hate, I am thankful to have love to share.
"It's a promise I'm making to you. Whatever may come, your heart I will choose. Forever I'm yours, forever I do."
Your heart. Your well-being. My love will ensure that I make others a priority.
"They say love is a journey, a promise that I'll never leave, when it's too heavy to carry, remember this moment with me."
So many of my friends, my brothers and sisters, woke up scared today. They were a target of a campaign promise or threat. They are scared that their way of life, everything they've ever known, could be taken from them. I will never leave your side. I will always advocate for you. When it's too much, when you're scared, remember this—right now. Remember that you are not alone. I will stand up for you.
Stronger. More passionate. More disciplined.

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